On Pride

Why do we work? Why do we force ourselves to get up in the mornings, when our bodies tell us otherwise, when we would rather be fogging about how the head of the franchise barista wound up on that advert on the side of the bus that steamed past as you stood there on the freezing pond about two blocks behind your old house when you were eight? Some will grimly quip, "It's for our children". Others will happily chirp, "To sustain the habits one has from not having children". Belonging to the second camp, I am lusciously afforded the luxury of considering an answer.

Or not. Maybe instead I'll surf the net again. Drown in the thirst for the new. Stock up on my social stalking. Oh would you look at the time. I really should copy and paste and change all the names, him's and her's for that kid's reference letter. Perhaps take a look at one of my projects. I've made an online calendar. I suppose I should fill it in now too. Drat, was that the sound of the bell? Am I late for class? My back hurts. These kids are the dumb ones. No wait, I shouldn't say that. Sigh. What is that piece of garbage on the floor? I don't get paid to clean up this mess. I get paid to teach. Hand out some worksheets now. I forgot to correct that typo from last year. I really should try to get some marking done after school. I'm so tired I can't focus. I wonder if anyone replied to my blog. Let's have a look.

That doesn't seem right at all. But neither does having your boss tell you that you're not doing a good job. And then having your other boss tell you that you are. I should have just walked out of there. I should have stopped my active listening. I'm going to quit. I really am. I really should. I'm going to make a big fuss of it all by writing an e-mail or maybe even a letter; when I'm gone, they'll be sorry. But I can't really quit because that would be quitting. I can't let anyone down because they would never let me down. Well would you look at that? That student did much better on this than he did last time. I probably had nothing to do with it, but I think I did.